Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentines Day



Ah. L'amour...

It's Valentines Day. the day reserved for spending time with the one you love. 

You know, I could research why we have this holiday, but we've had so many years of companies laying shit on us like Hallmark, Hershey, Key Jewelers and the like, that the meaning is really lost. It's the same story for Christmas, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, etc. 

If you're lucky enough to have someone:  go out, have a date, do all the fun stuff and fall in love again. But if you're like me, you're spending time online and on Facebook mocking everything! And thankful that no one is your Valentine this year. Think about it, we are taught in first grade to give cards and candy to our friends on this day. Little heart shaped chunks of flavored chalk that say things like "BE MINE," and "I LOVE YOU," and other things a child would never understand. We carry all that into adulthood. It's just as meaningless. The official mascot is Cupid, a cherub with a bow and arrow. WTF does that mean?

Contrary to what I have to say today, I really do have a romantic side. Relationships I've had in the past really mattered to me, and Valentine's day meant something. But the problem was, that once it was over, I realized that Valentine's Day is really EVERY DAY when you truly care about someone. Love has to be special. And take it from me, Valentine's Day is probably the WORST day of the year for a first date. 

I met someone a few years back and our first date was Valentine's Day. Probably the most awkward date I have ever had. Honest to God, I ended the date by tactfully reminding her of something she had to do the next day she told me about so I could "call it a night." Yes, I was a coyote that night:  I chose to chew my leg off rather than spend another minute with her. She wasn't ugly or anything, or weird, it was just uncomfortable.

IF I WERE GOING TO DO SOMETHING

I would start the day with a little wine tasting at some of our wonderful vineyards. Then go home and get cleaned up for dinner at Portland City Grill or one of Portland's many other fine restaurants (NOT The Olive Garden cheapos!). Followed up with a stroll on the East Bank of the Willamette, and a show, whatever Oregon Ballet Theater was currently playing. A night cap later in The Pearl, and some Barry White playing. And not necessarily on February 14th.

WHY AM I STILL SINGLE, YOU ASK?

Choice. And not necessarily permanent. 

I found in my experience there were three kind of women:  those I pursue; those who pursue me; and those I settle for. I think anyone can relate to this. You know, you go after the one you like, they don't feel the same; maybe you feel a little rejected and you end up with one you settle for. And that's not necessarily a bad thing all the time. Then there are the ones that pursue you. The ones that catch you off guard. The one's that maybe you didn't know about, or never thought about that way. In the last few years I was finding that I was having more relationships with the third category, the one's I'd settled for. I realized that I would probably never be truly happy settling for anything, let alone love. And finding that special someone started to become overly consuming. So I chose to put myself in this "offline" status so I could focus on other things.

LET THE MOCKING BEGIN

Earlier on Facebook, after noticing that every post was either about someone preparing for or celebrating Valentine's Day, or some stupid Valentine's Day wish, I decided to ask friends to send me funny memes so I could editorialize them on my blog. So have at it!