Saturday, February 15, 2014


Recently I watched "Riddick" and wanted to share a review.

Being a fan of Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick, I eagerly awaited the release of this installment. So when the red Netflix envelope came, I was quite excited. I couldn't get my broke ass to the theater to see it last summer. It has been ten years since we've seen our anti-hero Richard Riddick, well, except for the animated short Dark Fury, a prequel to Chronicles. And I was eager for the next installment.

Dark Fury is actually called "The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury." It's a 35 minute animated short about Riddick, Jack and Imam, facing a sadistic host who encounters them after "Pitch Black." The animation is less-than-impressive, and the story is bizarre and slow.

"Riddick" starts out with Riddick all smashed up on some desert planet. I guess the Necromongers didn't like him. And as it turns out, you DON'T keep what you kill, at least not without a bunch of juiced up douche bags gunning for you and the Necromonger throne. Though it was interesting that Johns' father was in the group, if you remember, Johns was Cole Hauser's smackhead character from Pitchblack. He was really the only guy I wanted to see bite it in that film...maybe the art collector too.

It's only a short time until Starbuck (Katee Sackoff, not the ACTUAL Starbuck of BSG) and her band of mercenary bounty hunters show up wanting to salt his game.

This movie was a huge disappointemnt so I'll just go ahead and spoil it for you.


Riddick is left for dead on a hostile planet; merc bounty hunters show up; <<insert standard Vin Diesel cookie-cutter low-brow overblown fight sequences>> beat a bunch of monsters in the dark; Starbuck makes nice with Riddick; Riddick flies away in a stolen space ship; roll credits.

Though I"m not really a pet person, I didn't like when one of the bastards killed Riddick's dingo-dongo, a dog that resembles a dingo and looks like the Egyptian god Horus. (Sorry, couldn't find an adequate picture to share.) I do like dogs.

2 hours of this. I could've spent the time creating a blog, writing a novel, or clipping my toenails or something.

Should've stuck with the Battlestar Galactica marathon.
6.4 Stars on IMDb. 2 Stars for The Toast.